Destructive Power of Being Anonymous (Ki Tavo 5780)

 

In responding the COVID19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, repeatedly has said universal mask wearing is crucial to blunting the pandemic. Yes! But there is a very different kind of mask wearing, that is corrosive to society: The mask of claiming anonymity online. 

A few years ago a number of students created a Facebook page to collect anonymous comments about other students. Shielded behind the cloak of anonymity, students were emboldened to post coarse and demeaning comments about each other. While some posts were benign, others were offensive. Many posts were intrusive or violated the privacy of others. 

This week's Torah portion takes a firm position against this type of anonymity. "Cursed is the one who strikes down their neighbor in secret." (Deuteronomy 27:24) As to understanding what Torah means by "striking down," commentators, for example, Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer (8th century, Babylonia), say it means "slander." 

But why does our Torah verse add "in secret"; isn't it enough for condemn any kind of slander? Public slander distorts what is on the outside. Being on the outside we can see the distortions and work to correct them. But secret slander corrodes from the inside. In this way Torah is warning against the hidden fractures of society. Their danger is increased because we cannot see them well enough to fix them. We can address public mistakes more easily than hidden, secret ones.  

Making anonymous posts is a kind of secret keeping. Research shows how keeping secrets adds stress to our lives and makes us feel worse about ourselves. Keeping secrets corrodes our personal sense of authenticity (that is, the opposite of acting in ways that align with who we feel we really are). Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, and poor health. The curse of secrets, it seems, is not only the hard work of keeping something secret, but also the added stress of living with our secrets, thinking about them.  

Rabbi Kenneth Brander (Rosh Yeshivah of Ohr Torah Stone) observes in the context of this week's parsha that cyberbullying can be more corrosive than face to face bullying because the bully is camouflaged behind a screen. He writes, "Because of this physical disconnect from their victims, studies show that cyberbullies exhibit less remorse than physical bullies." 

As a school that empowers students to develop the integrity and moral courage to express themselves openly, we actively discourage students from posting anonymously. We have seen too often how hiding behind a screen stimulates cruelty and cynicism. Our school community thrives on constructive engagement with each other. Openly. Authentically. May each of us have the courage to demonstrate care and compassion in private and in public. 

Nothing Artificial About Responsibility, Generosity, Empathy (Ki Teitzei 5780)

Last night was our first-ever, virtual Back to School Night as we started the JCHS school year in Campus Mode #4 (All Out, 100% Distance). It capped a first full week of online classes filled with much curiosity, lots of laughter, many questions, refreshed learning, and tremendous resilience. Here is the message I shared with parents and students at the end of this week . . .

We’ve been away from our campus on Ellis Street for so long (this is the 25th Shabbat in a row since COVID19 moved us into our homes), it’s easy to overlook things that happened last March. One likely overlooked March 2020 headline headline announced a breakthrough in artificial intelligence. AI researchers in China and the United States finally bested real people on the benchmark used to measure sentence comprehension and sentence-pairing. 

Seeing that headline triggered a vivid memory of my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Gray, presenting our class with a very modern, machine looking box. As she set the big box on the table in front of her desk, she lifted the lid to reveal a set of illustrated story cards side by side with a range of color-coded question cards. It was called the SRA Reading Laboratory. Mrs. Gray said we’d be using it to deepen our 9-year old reading comprehension skills. I bet a lot of you used that or later versions of the SRA reading boxes. 

I loved that SRA box. I could move at my own pace. I was competing just with myself. It was very growth-mindset oriented. 

But -- and I share this part of the story because it is the season of reflecting on and assessing our past mistakes as we prepare for the new Jewish year that starts in three weeks -- I messed up. My 9-year old self began getting focused on moving through the box in order to look smart to Mrs. Gray and my classmates. Seeming smart on the outside became more important to me than being understanding what I was reading. 

How to Find What We Are Seeking This Summer (Shelach 5780)

As this summer opens our country is reeling from the corrosive impact of centuries of racism from which many of us have looked away too often. The shadows of anger, resentment, shame, and fear are long. Those shadows cross with the more recent, shorter ones of anxiety and disruption coming from a worldwide pandemic. Alone or taken together these shadows threaten to swallow the light of summer. 

Perhaps an insight taken from this week’s Torah portion, can help us find light in the midst of these shadows. The Torah portion is suffused throughout with a single Hebrew verb latoor -- to explore, scout, or seek out. The Torah portion describes the assignment of selected scouts to confirm the divine promises awaiting our ancestors as they come close to crossing into Canaan.


The great scouting mission of Torah, however, fails to confirm the promises. Instead a huge majority of the scouts return from their mission terrorizing the generation of the Exodus about what perils await across the border. Their fear is so crushing they wish themselves dead, erased, zeroed out. Because of this botched scouting report our ancestors are set to wandering in the wilderness as punishment -- one year for every day of that failed 40-day mission. 

As a result, we sometimes ignore the Hebrew verb in this week’s Torah portion as a basis for naming the scouts. Instead we look toward the end of the Torah to find a different root word for the scouts. There Moses reflects on the scouts’ behavior this week by using the word la’regel. When put into noun form, it becomes “spies.” 

Which is it, “scouts” or “spies”?!?

Lifting Your Light (Graduation 2020 and Behaalot'cha 5780)

[JCHS Commencement 2020 was unlike any other affected by three months of sheltering-in-place due to COVID19 and two weeks of nationwide protests over centuries of racism. Here is some of what I said to our graduates via Zoom.] 

As each of us comes to this screen this afternoon our hearts are filled: with distress over the sadness and anger gripping our country because of the murder of people because of the color of their skin; with anxiety growing out of a worldwide pandemic along with its impact on each of our homes; with pride for this special class; with gratitude for our professional community; with the joy of completion; and with deep memories of those among our families and dear friends whose recent or long ago deaths are still with us. We take a quiet moment now for each of us to catch our breath and bring all that distress, anxiety, pride, gratitude, joy, and loss to mind. ... 

The Talmud teaches us in Bava Batra that when we build a new home, we leave a small patch of it unpainted or incomplete as a reminder that nothing in the work of our hands can be entirely perfect or complete. How true! So remember, as we build together this Commencement 2020 online, even if there are glitches or stumbles on screen or at home, we are all doing our best to celebrate the special Class of 2020. 

Turning Our Head to See: We Cannot Look Away Any Longer (Naso 5780)

Photo by Santiago Mejia for SF Chronicle 5/31/20 

At the end of last week the Jewish community observed Shavuot, the festival celebrating the giving of Torah and our responsibility to make real its lessons in every generation. One of Torah’s most powerful lessons is the inherent value and sanctity of each human life. From this the Sages declare that anyone who destroys a single life has destroyed an entire world. (Sanhedrin 4:5).

After two days of being away from screens through Shavuot, I turned on my phone and was shocked, but sadly not surprised, to see escalating turmoil and violence shaking our country. In recent weeks, we have seen whole worlds destroyed by the horrible deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery. Their names are added now to the overwhelming number of others. There has been a seeming advancing cascade of death, dehumanizing, and systemic racism experienced by people of color in our country. 

Gratitude: The Path to Serenity (Shemot 5780)

Santa Monica beach at sunset

Fifty years ago this Shabbat I became a Bar Mitzvah. My preparations included jogging along Santa Monica beach listening to a tape of my Torah portion. I was anxious about all the learning. The beach path was soothing, calm, serene. 

The 50th anniversary has stirred up lots of memories. Mostly sweet ones. Two sour memories. One was dancing awkwardly and super self-consciously at the party after reading from the Torah. Another was during the service. This particular memory brings embarrassment and shame. Which is why it is so important to reflect on it even 50 years later. It is a difficult memory; still, I am grateful for it. 

After reading from parshat Shemot and doing the Haftara and reading my dvar Torah (my chance to teach about the Torah reading), I thanked my teachers, my rabbi, and my friends. But, and this is the embarrassing part, I did not publicly thank my parents.