The parsha this week begins with Jacob and Esau preparing for a reunion after more than two decades of alienation from each other. When they last saw each other, Esau promised to exact revenge against his brother Jacob for stealing their father's blessing. Jacob is afraid that Esau has not changed; that Esau has remain fixed in his attitude toward Jacob. Torah tells us "Jacob was really frightened and he was distressed." (Genesis 32:8). Why both emotions? Wasn't it enough to be afraid!?! What does the text add that Jacob was distressed?
One insight from the ancient rabbis is that Jacob's feelings are doubled because Jacob was afraid for himself - that he and his family might be harmed - and Jacob was distressed for Esau -- that in defending himself from Esau, Jacob might bring harm to Esau and his family. (Bereisheet Rabbah 76:2)Connecting this ancient insight to Jacob’s fear that Esau has remained fixed in his attitude toward Jacob, I imagine that Jacob’s feelings are doubled because Jacob feared both he himself and Esau had too fixed a mindset to have changed. In other words, Jacob was afraid for himself that he could not outgrow the youthful deceptions he used to steal Esau’s blessing from their father and Jacob was stressed for Esau that he could not outgrow his youthful ambition for revenge.
As the JCHS Professional Community learned when studying together Dr. Carol Dweck’s seminal book, "Mindset," those with a fixed mindset believe their basic qualities are fixed. By contrast those with a growth mindset believe their most basic qualities or abilities can be developed and grown through purposeful, hard work.
One genius of Judaism is its commitment to a growth mindset. As expressed by Abraham Joshua Heschel, “A [person] is a being in flux.” While a “stone is characterized by its finality, [a person’s] outstanding quality is in its being a surprise.” For Judaism, as expressed by Heschel, “the being of a person is never completed, [never] final.” (Heschel, “Who Is Man?” (1965), p. 41.)
That brings me to the fable of the scorpion and the tortoise. One day, a scorpion who wanted to cross a pond. (For purposes of the fable ignore the fact thatsome scorpions can survive under water for as long as two days.) Near the edge of the pond the scorpion found a tortoise and asked if he would give him a lift across. The tortoise exclaimed, “Are you joking? You’ll sting me while I’m swimming and I’ll drown!”
“My dear tortoise,” laughed the scorpion, “If I were to sting you, you would drown and I’d go down with you! Now where is the logic in that?” “You’ve got a point there,” reasoned the tortoise. “Hop on.” The scorpion climbed aboard and the tortoise set off into the water. Halfway across the pond, the scorpion carefully aimed his powerful stinger and stung the tortoise everything he had. As they both sank to the bottom the tortoise asked, “You said there is no logic in you stinging me. So why did you do it?” “It has nothing to do with logic,” the drowning scorpion replied, “it’s just my nature!” The scorpion had a fixed mindset and used it excuse his behavior.
“My dear tortoise,” laughed the scorpion, “If I were to sting you, you would drown and I’d go down with you! Now where is the logic in that?” “You’ve got a point there,” reasoned the tortoise. “Hop on.” The scorpion climbed aboard and the tortoise set off into the water. Halfway across the pond, the scorpion carefully aimed his powerful stinger and stung the tortoise everything he had. As they both sank to the bottom the tortoise asked, “You said there is no logic in you stinging me. So why did you do it?” “It has nothing to do with logic,” the drowning scorpion replied, “it’s just my nature!” The scorpion had a fixed mindset and used it excuse his behavior.
The tradition urges us to see the world differently. The Torah teaches we can transcend our natures; we have choices. Even if we are inclined at times toward or have a predisposition in favor of unhealthy or hurt-ful behaviors, those behaviors are our choice. We choose whether to pursue life and good instead of death and evil. (Deuteronomy 30:15-20) My colleague David Meyer has written, “it is the ability to grow, to choose our ways in life is what makes us human -- our ability to transcend both biology and environment, and to intentionally change our lives towards a higher moral vision.”
As for Jacob and Esau -- they prove the scorpion wrong; they do not remain fixed; they change. At the moment of their tense reunion “Esau ran to meet him. He hugged [Jacob] and throwing himself on his shoulders, kissed him. They [both] wept.” (Genesis 33:4) They both changed. They inspire us to know we can grow and change. We can become more full and complete versions of the selves we choose to be. We are not like the fabled scorpion whose mindset is fixed. Unlike the scorpion we can cross the pond; we can transform our nature to become better ourselves.
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