Friday, September 5, 2014

The Memory Twins of Cynicism: Blot-Out and Don't-Forget (Ki Teitzei 5774)


As the father of twins, I tend to collect twin stories. One of my favorites is based on a 20th century midrash from Rabbi Y. M. Tukachinsky (Lithuania and Israel). The story involves a pair of twins still in the womb where they are completely nourished and cared for. They have all they need; they lack nothing.


In the secure seclusion of their womb, they begin anticipating the birth that approaches. One of the twins expresses anxiety and worry about the future. The other is excited and hopeful.  

The worried twin imagines the end of this secure time will be a catastrophe; he will be deprived of all he knows and all he needs. He enjoys that the world of the womb is predictable, closed and complete.   

By contrast, the hopeful twin imagines the start of an adventurous new life outside that will create opportunities to learn and grow beyond her wildest dreams. She is excited to
enter a world of mystery that is full of possibilities and completely open. Imagine how each twin's mindset sets a course for her or his life ahead!

As we start a new school year and prepare to enter a new Jewish year, we find ourselves at a similar spot. Some of us worried and afraid, others hopeful and looking forward.

The closing sentence from this week's Torah portion, Ki Teitzei, offers advice for moments like this. Moses is offering his closing advice just days before ancient Israel enters the land to establish its independent state. Moses closes this speech exhorting them "you should blot-out the memory of Amalek (who did horrible things to your ancestors) and don't forget." (Deut. 25:19) These are the memory twins:  blot-out and don't-forget. It seems impossible to do both  -- they seem literally to contradict each other.

The fearful and hopeful twins of Tukachinsky's story offer one way to resolve the seeming contradiction. The power of learning from our mistakes comes not from blotting them out entirely, but rather from not forgetting them just enough to know how to avoid repeating similar mistakes in the future. But in order to do that we need to think about the future as the hopeful twin does, as open and full of potential. In this way we can bring our memories along to guide us. But if we set our minds to the future like the fearful twin, then our minds will be closed and nothing will change. We will be paralyzed by our mistakes instead of learning and growing through them.

Another clue toward resolving the seeming contradiction between blot-out and don't-forget is in revealed through gematria -- the Hebrew letter/number equivalents for the name of Amalek. When translated from Hebrew letters to Hebrew numbers, his name has the same numerical value as the Hebrew word for doubt (safek) and the same numerical value as the Hebrew word for arrogant or haughty (ram).

Perhaps, when Moses speaks of Amalek he means not only the historical personality or his genetic descendants, but also the idea of Amalek as revealed through gematria of arrogant doubt -- or cynicism. Maybe Torah is encouraging us to enter the new year having put aside our cynical, closed minded perspective.  To both blot-out cynicism and don't-forget just how corrosive it can be.

To keep cynicism from poisoning the start of a new year and our relationships in it, we can't-forget just how heavy a burden we carry with our arrogant, self-centered doubting.

Much of the year ahead is beyond our control. Still like the twins in the womb the mindset we bring to it depends on us.

To flourish in the year ahead let each of us:

  • Consider how we can contribute more to personal fulfillment by choosing a mindset that is open to possibilities than one that is closed by limitations. 
  • Consider how we can be healthier friends by choosing a mindset that learns and grows through mistakes instead of one that dwells on them. 
  • Consider how can lead more powerfully with a mindset that enriches friendships and community over one that remains focused on the self.
  • And consider how we can expand our horizons more by choosing a mindset that embraces the fullness of diversity than by one that forces uniformity.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comment Here