Counting on Your Compassionate Voice

We are coming to the end of the Omer -- the period of counting days from Pesach until Shavuot.  Just as our ancestors in the Torah wilderness prepared themselves physically for receiving the Torah, the Rabbis imagined this period as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth necessary before rehearsing the receipt of Torah on Shavuot.  They saw the Torah as a huge gift and felt it was a gift that we needed to earn.  

One traditional way to prepare is to study Pirke Avot (that portion of the Talmud devoted to ethical wisdom) throughout the period of counting the Omer.  In recent years some beautiful complementary materials have been created.  Thank you to Yael Raff Peskin for curating several of these resources at her blog, Omer Harvest.  One of the seminal modern resources is the flipbook (old-school on paper) crafted by Simon Jacobson.  He offers daily meditations, questions, and exercises that encourage self-reflection based on the so-called "lower" seven sefirot.

There have been years when the 49-days of self-reflection have been intense.  When my tendency to self-critique swallows-up my sense of self-realization.  At those times I recognize a need for self-compassion at the end of the Omer.  

Bamidbar 5773: Lifting Up Our Heads

As we start a new book of Torah, Bamidbar – or Numbers – there is a census taken of our ancestors in the wilderness.  Two years out from the Exodus from Egypt, the community stops and takes stock.  


The Hebrew directive from God about taking a census, however, is unusual (Bamidbar 1:2.)  Instead of a familiar Hebrew verb for counting, Torah uses here the verb for lifting.  This oddity draws our attention to the fact that what is lifted is literally the head of each member of the community.  Instead of looking at a mass crowd, Torah urges us to distinguish each individual in the crowd by lifting each face.

How important is it to lift our faces, a story about that before returning to the Torah.  There was once a murder trial.  A man was charged with murdering his neighbor – but there was very little evidence apart from the fact that the two neighbors were heard violently arguing for weeks before and the defendant had loudly threatened to kill the supposed victim on the same night he disappeared. 

Behar & Bechukotai 5773: When I Count My Blessings I Count You Twice

In this week’s second parsha, Bechukotai, we read the tocheha - the curse - the warning about which punishments will result if our ancestors in the wilderness  do not follow Torah.  This follows a series of blessings if the Jews adhere to Torah.

Art/Eye Chart:  When I Count My Blessings I Count You Twice

What is particularly striking about the blessings and curses is that the curses -- 49 of them in this week’s Torah portion -- outnumber the blessings by a ratio of 3 to 1.  It is also fascinating at this season of counting the omer -- when we count the number of days between Pesach and Shavuot -- that it also is exactly 49.  


Throughout the tradition there are a number of explanations about why the curses so far outnumber the blessings.  Ibn Ezra (12th century, Spain), for example, suggests the blessings aren't as few as they appear but are written in more general terms.  As a result each generalized blessing includes many more specific parts that do not need to be (are not) expressed.

My teacher and colleague, Rabbi Avi Weiss, Founder and President of Yeshivat Chovevei Torah who will be retiring this year, reminds us in this context that Torah speaks in the language of human beings.  People talk up the curses or sadness we experience much more than we talk up the blessings or goodness in our lives.