Unmasking the Mysterious Dr. X: Wrestling Toward the Light (Vayislach 5777)

When I was nine years old my uncle took me to a wrestling match in a car dealership parking lot. Until that evening, in my mind wrestlers were real costumed superheroes -- battling forces of evil and darkness. That view was shattered when my uncle ushered us 'backstage' to meet the mysterious Dr. X. Wow!

In the ring, he was mysterious and fierce. But backstage he was an ordinary guy -- a really big, sweaty, ordinary guy. He wore no mask. He sat in a folding chair. As I waited for his autograph, the man behind the mask mystery was talking to another wrestler. They were deciding which of them would "win" the next bout. Huh!?! 

Wrestling is faked?!? 'No way,' I thought. But the evidence was clear. I was devastated. 

Dr. X comes to mind often when reading this week's Torah portion, Vayishlach.

When Competing Worldviews Collide: Rebecca's Response (Toledot 5777)

The 2016 presidential election reflects the collision of two competing worldviews. It is an awe-inspiring conflict leaving some angry and confused about what it means for them and their values. Others are elated and confident about what it means for them and their values. And others are not sure what to think or feel. The aftermath of the election is prompting existential questions for many of us about what we value and how we stand up to others whose values differ from our own. 

This week's Torah portion begins with similar existential questions. It also offers insight and raises questions about how one might respond to this type of collision.

Bending the Long Arc of History (U.S. Presidential Election 2016)

Pictured at right: "We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." Martin Luther King, Jr. 1968

Here is the message I shared with students and educators at JCHS during an all-school gathering earlier today:

For nearly all of us something completely unexpected has happened. In response many of us are crying, angry, frustrated, or confused. Many others are celebrating, excited, hopeful, or emboldened. Completely unexpected.

Early this morning as I talked with Chanita (our young niece who now lives with us), I reassured her that there are many good people on both sides of the difficult campaign for president.

The Tower of Babel Turned Upside Down (Noach 5777)

"Tower of Babel" by Theodor 'Dr. Seuss' Geisel

This week Jewish Community High School of the Bay (JCHS)  honored Hispanic Heritage Month (deferred for us a few days because of the Jewish holidays). Our students were inspired to hear from classmates and educators about their Hispanic heritage made them feel special and what made them feel different. 

One feature discussed by the panel was the variety and number of languages embraced by the term Hispanic heritage." As I young person I knew only one language. Only later did I study Spanish and Hebrew. One helped me to feel part of one community and the other a different community. (More on diversity in language below.)  

I confess, however, that mostly in junior high school I feared standing out by seeming different. It is a common teen fear. I just wanted to fit in or, even better, disappear. I learned over time to treasure what makes me different and what makes others' differences so valuable.

Your Ears So Big You Make Dumbo Jealous (Yom Kippur 5777)

"Your ears so big, you make Dumbo jealous." Or "Your ears so small, you can't hear when people insult you." Or "Your ears aren't so big ... for a basset hound." These are the kinds of casual insults you hear on a school yard (or, this year, on the presidential campaign). 

Given the features on my face, I received my share of insults in school, such as: "Is that your nose, or a ski jump?" And "Is that your nose, or did someone park a blimp on your face?"

Sure these make us chuckle, but they aren't funny.

Dreaming of the Year Ahead: Essential Lessons From Shimon Peres z"l (Rosh Hashanah 5777)

At this season, the Jewish new year (“Rosh Hashanah”) exhorts us to dream big. It is a time to reflect on the year that has ended and to dedicate ourselves toward returning to the best of ourselves, deepening relationships that are dear to us, meeting the profound needs of others, and reaching the highest ideals of Torah. Those are huge aspirations. The juxtaposition this weekend of the Friday funeral for Shimon Peres, former prime minister and president of Israel, the Saturday Torah reading, and the start of Rosh Hashanah on Sunday night call to mind powerful lessons about these aspirations.

Shimon Peres believed deeply in the power of dreams and imagination. He said, “We should use our imagination more than our memory.” Using our imagination more than our memories is precisely what this Jewish season is about. We don’t discard our memories; we use them to animate our aspirations. We reflect on the year that is ending -- through our memories -- in order to inspire our dreams for the year ahead -- our imagination.

The Ultimate Selfie: Judging Oneself (Shoftim 5776)

Think for a moment about the screen image you see looking at your smiling face about to snap a selfie. Now compare that first, screen image to the actual photo that gets stored when you snap the selfie. Both are you; but they are not exactly the same!

The first screen image is reversed in the saved photo image. The first image is just like looking at yourself in the mirror. The saved image is the reverse. The first image is the one we know best; it is the most familiar to us. We've been looking at it for years. 

But other people see us in reverse. They see, in effect, the saved photo image. We see the mirror image; we've conditioned ourselves to see it whenever we brushed our teeth or adjusted ourselves in front of a mirror. 

Free Throws or Free Will: "See I Am Putting a Choice Before You Today" (Re'eh 5776)

At the start of a school year there are lots of promises about trying harder to do the ‘right’ things or to make better choices. As schools are so filled with learning that we sometimes confuse what it takes to do the right thing or make better choices. We sometimes think that learning will move us to make the right choice. But, for most of us, that’s not true. We already know right from wrong; we already know which choice is better for us. The challenge lies somewhere else.

The extraordinary career of one of my childhood basketball heroes, Wilt Chamberlain, illustrates this. I am grateful a Malcolm Gladwell podcast about him reminded me of this. If Wilt were still alive he would have turned 80 years old this month. He was extraordinary. Although he retired from the NBA in 1973, he still holds more NBA records than any other player - ever.

Wilt was a prolific scorer. He accumulated 34,419 points in 14 NBA seasons at a time when there were no three-point shots. By way of comparison, Steph Curry has played 7 NBA seasons and accumulated 11,089 points. At Curry's pace, if he played as many seasons as Wilt, Curry would fall short of Wilt by about 9,000 points.

But Wilt’s free throw percentage was dreadful.

What Time Is It When An Elephant Sits on Your Fence? Time to Start a New School Year (Ekev 5776)

On the first day of classes at JCHS I revealed to students why there is a really big jar of Laffy Taffy in my office. Students stop by all through the day to grab some candy, which gives me a chance to ask about their day or their lives. And to share a Laffy Taffy riddle so that we laugh together.

I also told them about how my parents used riddles and humor to help the much-younger-me respond to school stress. If my parents could get me laughing, the stress would drop. I remember one time moving to a new elementary school - anxious about making friends, meeting new teachers, living in a new neighborhood - my parents gave me 101 Elephant Jokes so that I might chuckle away the stress. 

Later I learned it was written by a ninth grader! Like the riddles on Laffy Taffy wrappers, that book and other elephant jokes still make me laugh, with classics like:

Toward Relationships That Honor, Encourage, and Strengthen (Ve'et-chanan 5776)

The first day of school, even for high schoolers, is a big deal. New social, academic, and emotional challenges await. There are exciting new chances to explore one’s unfolding self. The role of friends is crucial. So, too, is the role played by parents and teachers. For instance, research confirms that parental encouragement in high school and through the many transitions that occur in high school positively impact academic performance.

Belonging to Summer: A Time for Daring Greatly (Beha'alotecha 5776)

ImageThink graphic recap Brown 2016 SXSW keynote

My first summer camp experience was painful! I felt alone and vulnerable. At first, summer camp made me sick. I was seasick - riding a tiny ferry across choppy ocean waves to an island based Boy Scout camp. Then I was homesick - being placed in a tent by myself because, it seemed to me, I was young and uncool. Then I was just plain sick - it rained early and late; I caught a cold. I wrote tear-stained letters home offering to be nicer to my sister if only someone would rescue me from camp. I was ashamed about crying so much. I was 11 years old.

The Gift of a Mezuzah for Graduation (Graduation 2016) (Shavuot 5776)

My precious students:* I have a virtual gift for you inspired by a story told by Rabbi Susan Silverman, the sister of comedian Sarah Silverman. It is about a gift their mother, Beth Ann received at a moment of profound transition - her wedding. Her mother received this gift at a bridal shower or some other wedding event. Beth Ann, carefully unwrapped the gift -- it was a mezuzah.

A mezuzah is that little box attached to the side of a doorpost of a Jewish home. Inside is a scroll onto which are hand-calligraphed two passages from Torah.

According to Silverman family legend, Beth Ann pulled out the scroll. Unrolled it. Looked at it for a moment, then said something like: “G** dammit! The directions are in Hebrew!” 

Here [holding up parchment] is a scroll like the one Beth Ann opened. For her the contents of this scroll were a mystery. But for you, after four years at Jewish Community High School of the Bay (@jchsofthebay), you know it is not a mystery but rather a reminder of the most powerful lessons from Torah. We celebrate receiving Torah each year with the festival of Shavuot that begins in just two days.

The Freedom Journey: A Marathon, Not a Sprint (#HackYourFreedom) (Pesach 5776)

We take so many liberties for granted it's hard to remember just how long and bumpy is the journey toward freedom. At this week's Boston Marathon, the annual race that began in 1897, we take for granted the four different, competitive divisions -- men, women, men in wheelchairs, women in wheelchairs. Or that just about half of the entrants are women. That has not always been the case. In fact, the first official entrant who was a woman was Kathrine "K.V." Switzer (#261 pictured above) - a sophomore at Syracuse University. The year was 1967. 

When Kathrine registered for the 1967 Boston Marathon there was no place on the form to indicate gender. It was assumed only men would enter the race. K.V. had been routinely running 10 miles a day with the man who became her coach. She convinced him she could cover the distance one evening after adding 5 miles on to the end of their 26-mile run. 

On that snowy, race day in 1967, Kathrine was dressed like all the other runners in a baggy gray sweat suit. At about the two mile mark other runners got excited to see that #261 was a woman. Lots of photos were taken as Kathrine approached a press truck. 

Helpless or Hopeful: Sunday for The Blues or Blue Skies? (Shemini 5776)

We often are ambivalent about Sundays. Some Sundays leave us with dissonance and anxiety anticipating the week ahead. We feel helpless: those are Sunday blues. Other Sundays inspire us to carry optimism and hope into the coming week. We feel hopeful; those are blue sky Sundays. 

This Sunday every JCHS student will be adventuring far from home - to southern California, to Zion National Park, to New Orleans, and within Israel. These journeys empower our students by engaging them with others who think, live, and believe differently than they do. These journeys empower our students to see their own world from different points of view -- and to imagine shaping the world through their effort and labor. Still just as Sundays start each week, some journey encounters will generate dissonance or anxiety while others inspire optimism and hope.

The Torah portion this week hints at our potential to choose optimism over anxiety - seeing blue skies instead of feeling the blues. Just after the Torah

The Most Memorable Gift: ROLLA LEE RUBEN z"l (Terumah 5776)

Teacher Gift Ideas

Next week ends sheloshim (first month of mourning) for my mom, Rolla Lee Ruben z"l, who died at the age of 81 after a valiant battle against breast cancer and resilience through a decade of Parkinson's. She died peacefully surrounded by her family just weeks after holding her first great-grandchild. 

After raising her family and teaching for nearly four decades at Broadway Elementary School in Los Angeles, my mom wrote powerful reminiscences about, among other things, teaching at this public school in an economically depressed neighborhood. We called these reminiscences, "Bubby Stories"; one especially resonates with the theme of gifts in this week's Torah portion, Terumah. 

Rolla collected lots of memorable gifts brought by students as she taught elementary school for nearly 40 years. For example, the beautiful box of headless chocolate Santas she received from a student whose mother worked in a candy factory. Or animal figurines bought at Pin 'N' Save a few blocks from school. 

Humble and Wise Enough to Learn From Others: ROLLA LEE RUBEN z"l (Mishpatim 5776)

ROLLA LEE RUBEN z"l with Gayle and Howard (2011)

I dedicate this to my mom, Rolla Lee Ruben z"l, who died two weeks ago at the age of 81 after a valiant battle against breast cancer and resilience through a decade of Parkinson's. She died peacefully surrounded by her family just a few weeks after holding her first great-grandchild. 

After raising her family and teaching for nearly four decades at Broadway Elementary School in Los Angeles, my mom started writing powerful reminiscences about: growing up with a twin sister in the Twin Cities, falling in love with and marrying my dad, devoting her life to my sister and me, teaching public school in an economically depressed neighborhood, mentoring novice teachers through UCLA and LMU, sharing her life with friends, celebrating her Judaism, and cherishing her grandchildren. We called these reminiscences, "Bubby Stories." She wrote dozens of them. 

Juggling: Accepting and Challenging (Va'eyra 5776)

Gandini Juggling Troupe

Being a teen calls for lots of juggling. Especially this time of year - juggling the delights of vacation with a return to school; or intense family time with intense friend time; or excitement about reconnecting with friends and anxiety about reconnecting with academic material. 

Sometimes the juggling can feel especially intense. I told our students this week about my own juggling in late December. On the same day that my first granddaughter turned eight days old and received the blessing of her name, my eighty-one year old mother transitioned to hospice care in her home. Intense and happy and sad. We juggle a lot in our lives; it can be stressful and powerful.