Learning From Others: My Father and "Jesús" (Ki Tissa 5774)

My father died at this season 16 years ago. I am so grateful for the many lessons he taught me and the smile and optimism he encouraged in me. Among the many wonderful memories that have 'stuck' one especially comes to mind because of the Torah portion this week, Ki Tissa (lit. ‘when you raise up’). It is a memory that lifts me nearly daily. The memory is about the power of learning from hard work, from experiences that are not anticipated, and from others who are no different from me.

The parsha includes a reiteration and an elaboration on the mitzvah of Shabbat -- of marking each week sacred time set apart for rest/renewal. But beyond the elaboration on Shabbat as sacred -- set apart -- time, there is another mitzvah (or divine exhortation) in the text

It is the mitzvah of work: "For six days shall work be be done." (Ex. 30:15) This echoes to the phrase embedded in the Ten Commandments about Shabbat “for six days you are to work and do all of your labor." (Ex. 20:9) Why are we commanded to work? If Shabbat is so wonderful, why not organize this world so that everyday is a day of rest and renewal?

One answer to that question is found elsewhere in this week's Torah portion when Moses has to re-carve the tablets of the Ten Commandments. (Ex. 34:1) According to the Torah narrative those tablets had to be re-carved because the first set that carved by God and simply handed over to Moses was shattered by Moses, thrown to the ground, when Moses encountered his community worshipping the Golden Calf.

For me, Moses is made to re-carve the second set of tablets because of the first set had come too easily without any work or effort on his part.  Work is empowering. Think about our own learning. How well do we remember lessons that simply pop into our heads when compared to lessons we learn through making mistakes and trying over again. How much more do we learn from testing a hypothesis that fails and responding to feedback -- or from working to study and learn material over and over again?

When we lived in Minnesota I remember my parents taking me to a dairy farm when I was 4 or 5 and we learned how to churn butter from milk. That was the sweetest butter I had ever tasted -- especially tasty because of the hard work required.  And I remember my dad teaching me how to fish in a lake -- using a little skill and a lot of patience.  Then he taught me how to clean and cook the fish made more delicious because of the work involved.

Years after we moved to southern California when I was 13 years old my father asked me to work for him during the summer.  My dad had a small, furniture manufacturing factory. In my mind, he was the boss and sat at a desk.  When I would go with him on a Sunday to work we would sit in his office, drink sodas, he worked with his papers and I read comic books. So for the summer, I expected more of the same.  

Imagine my surprise that first summer day when we walked in to work together but we did not head toward his office. Instead my father walked with me out into the middle of the factory and introduced me to Jesús. His job was to stuff foam or down into every seat cushion on every sofa and chair being made in the factory. My dad told me I would spend every day working with Jesús until the final work bell at 4:00p.  For my dad, it was crucial that the fruits of work not simply be handed to me, rather that I learned from effort and perseverance.  He wanted me to learn from how others worked.  

I spent long hours working next to Jesús -- learning the different ways to stuff a cushion, compress the foam, roughly sew padding around the foam, repair a down bag, replace a broken zipper, keep from breaking a zipper. I learned more through the work of my hands that summer than I ever could have learned if my father had just handed me the keys to the business. He taught me the value of work and of working with others. Jesús grew up in a Latino culture. His community was different from mine; many of his life experiences seemed different from mine. Until we worked side by side.  Then I learned that there were many more similarities underneath those superficial differences. Jesús taught me to respect the power of hard work -- my own and others. 

Like when Moses received the first set of tablets, I had expected everything to be handed to me. Instead I learned that doing the hard work myself taught me not only about the work but also about myself. It strengthened me intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

For all those memories -- and for so much more -- thanks Dad!