On the Path Toward . . . (Lech Lecha 5776)

Standing at chuppah with son

Walking my son down the aisle at his wedding capped one thrilling journey for me just as powerfully as it started a momentous one for him.

The relative shortness of the wedding aisle belies the long journey toward it. It begins at birth, if not sooner. It's customary to welcome an infant into the Jewish community with hopeful expressions including that she or he grow to find a life partner under the chuppah (wedding canopy).

But parent wishes for their children's path come to little unless the journey also is embraced by their children. While the destination may be similar for one generation as for the next, each generation takes its own unique journey.

That lesson is exemplified by two seemingly parallel statements separated by just a few verses in Torah. One comes at the end of last week's Torah portion about Terach and the other from the beginning of this week's Torah portion about his son, Abraham (still called Avram).

This week's Torah portion, Lech Lecha, is the master text for embarking on a personal journey. Abraham is instructed to leave his land, his relatives, and his father's home toward a land that God will show him. Then "he took [his family] and they departed toward the land of Canaan." (Genesis 12:5). This passage echoes precisely with one a week ago, from Noah, that refers to the journey of Abraham's father, Terach. "He [Terach] took [his family] and they departed toward the land of Canaan."  (Genesis 11:31).

Both generations are aiming toward Canaan. So whose journey is it toward Canaan, Terach's or Abraham's -- the parent's or the child's?

Classical commentators read much into the differences between Terach and Abraham; but the text itself is silent about most of those possible differences. Others read much into the fact that Terach seems to leave on his own, but Abraham is called by the Eternal. Some note that Terach stops without getting to Canaan, while Abraham makes it all the way. One reading takes a hint from the fact that elsewhere in the Terach passage the Hebrew text switches from the singular to the plural suggesting that Terach went along with his family, rather than that he led his family.  

But as I walked my son down the aisle toward his chuppah, it became clear to me. Torah here means to teach that we often have the same destination in mind for ourselves and our children; yet each child will take his or her own unique journey toward that destination. The destination may be similar but each route there is special.  

And if we are fortunate, we have the delight of watching our children walk the path toward a unique future with joy and delight.