Hold Your Head Up: Winners or Losers (Bamidbar 5777)

Hold Your Head Up 1972 hit by rock band Argent

When I was in law school an apocryphal story was going around about winners and losers. The story was about a murder trial: A man was charged with murdering his neighbor. 

But it was a very circumstantial case. There were no witnesses to a killing. They found no body. There was just an apartment building filled with tenants who overheard two of their neighbors constantly fighting. One night, after a really loud argument, one of the quarreling neighbors disappeared. The victim just disappeared; never heard from again. Everyone assumed the worst.

The surviving neighbor was tried for murder. At trial, his attorney focused on showing reasonable doubt. She argued he could not be convicted on such flimsy evidence. In her closing argument, the defendant's lawyer looked up at the jury
saying, "Jurors, after all this how could anyone possibly even be convinced my client's neighbor is dead, let alone murdered. You must have doubts. Indeed," she added while pointing at the courtroom door, “right there is the supposed victim neighbor walking into this courtroom!

The jurors all looked to the door. But no one was there. “You see,” she continued, "the fact that you looked to the door confirms you have doubts. You must find my client innocent." She sat down convinced she had won the case.

We'll circle back to the end of that trial after some Torah. This week’s portion begins with a census of ancient Israelites just two years after the exodus from Egypt. Torah directs the census be taken by literally hold up the head of each person. (Numbers 1:2)

Commentators point out the counting method used for this particular census introduces a dramatic ambiguity. For example, Rashi (12th century) reads this holding up to behead as an executioner does. For Ramban (13th century) it could mean holding up as when praising. Ramban preserves, rather than resolves, the tension by suggesting holding up the head could mean as in to execute one who deserves it or to praise one who has earned it.

That is, we should hold up the heads of those who act with honor toward others and put down the heads of those who destroy others. One form of holding up heads is illustrated by something that happened last week at JCHS. The other is illustrated by the end of the murder trial story.

Last week, JCHS held student elections for next year's officers. Our community celebrates not only winners but also 'losers'; even 'losers' because they've taken the positive risk of putting themselves forward and demonstrating resilience. After the elections, I send a note to each 'loser,' appreciating their commitment to our school community. I remind them that former Israeli prime minister and president, Shimon Peres, lost more leadership elections than he ever won. Still, he would say, "Pessimists and optimists all die the same way. But they live differently. Be the optimist."

One of these 'losers' immediately wrote back to me (I have permission to anonymously share his note): "Thank you for the consoling words. My intention was to win, but in some sense, the greater goal was to bring to light the sort of issues and concerns I had over my community. I myself was surprised by the level of support and backing I received from so many others who believed they were noticing the same things; and that gave me confidence knowing that despite my contrarian views and opinions, they reflected a serious level of love and passion for the JCHS community. The student body has elected a capable, loving, and caring leader [in my opponent, who will] do phenomenally!"

Praising the winner is remarkable enough. But this 'loser' continued, "As with all elections, the results reflect the choosing of one person over another. To some, that can be deeply upsetting and demoralizing. But not for me. I'll continue to care for the community and give everything I can to this school. I am determined to leave a lasting imprint on JCHS, win or lose."

Inspiring. This remarkable student demonstrates what it means to hold up one's head in defeat. I wish we could all live with our losses in such resilient ways. This student has earned our praise.

And the murder trial demonstrates the opposite. Now for the rest of the story. The defense attorney is confident she gave the jurors a lot to consider before convicting her client. So she is surprised when the jury returns after brief deliberations. When the verdict is announced, she is stunned. Guilty! Her client is taken away head bowed.

She asked some jurors to help her understand the verdict. One explained, "When you pointed to courtroom door saying the victim was alive, all of us looked up. But one person in the courtroom looked down. He did not lift his head. That was your client, the defendant. He just kept staring at his feet. There is only one explanation for that: The defendant knew the missing neighbor wasn't walking through that door because he killed the neighbor. He virtually confessed by keeping his head down."

So it is with us. We choose when to become true winners or losers. We choose when to drop our heads and when to lift them. When to destroy a community and when to enrich it. And when to make our interactions with others truly count.