Sibling Revelry: Celebrating Siblings 50/50 (Toledot 5774)

"Sibling Revelry" 1969

My dad was determined to treat my sister and me equally. Knowing how much my dad loved my sister, ironically one of the ways I felt special was seeing him split things with us 50/50. Like the day in college when a package arrived from my dad. It one-half of a 2-pound box of chocolates sawed precisely down-the-middle Yup, he sent my sister the other half. Or the books he would buy two copies -- one for me and one for my sister. 

Although my sister and I are not twins, we were blessed to be loved so evenly and equally. That dramatically contrasts with the twins, Esau and Jacob, born in this week's Torah portion, Toledot. Whatever rivalry was sparked between them in the womb was inflamed by their father, Isaac. The arc of their relationship moves from "the children clashed inside [the womb] in Genesis 25:22 to an elderly Isaac saying to his adult son Esau, "Behold, I have made [Jacob] master over you" in Genesis 27:37. It was classical sibling rivalry.

My sister and I enjoyed sibling "revelry" -- a parent-inspired celebration of sibling relations that endures today. Contrasting sibling rivalry with sibling revelry, I turned this week to one of those same books my dad bought for both my sister and me, a book of Jewish folktales. I was looking for a story I remembered about two brothers whose act of sibling devotion and kindness was so powerful it literally became identified with the location of Jerusalem.

Truth is when opening the book I discovered the story I sought tagged by this picture as a bookmark: my dad, of blessed memory, standing right between my sister and me when I am 12 years old. "Mimekor Yisrael" (bin Gorion, ed.) vol I, p. 491

Here is my adapted version of the story involving two brothers – farmers – who live on either side of a great hill. One of the brothers is married with many children – Simcha. The other lives alone – Lev. Every year at harvest season each of them reaps his side of the hill. Both brothers were blessed with plenty until one year there is drought and the crops come in quite thin. Each reaps much less than the years before.

Toward the end of that long, difficult drought-year harvest, Simcha was laying awake at night thinking, “I have a family to help with fill out the harvest. But my brother, Lev, is all alone. He can't possible harvest enough on his own to make a living let alone feed himself for the year. I will sneak at night taking some of my crops over to his side of the hill. Then Lev will have enough." Under the cloak of a dark night, Simcha loaded up his wheelbarrow with a few bales of wheat, tiptoed over the hill, and left them on Lev's side of the hill..

Later that same night Lev also was lying awake thinking, "I have plenty to eat. But my brother has a such big family to feed. I’m sure Simcha could use a little extra. I will sneak some of my crop to his side of the hill." Lev loaded up his wheelbarrow in the dark, carried it over the hill and left many bales on his brother's side of the hill. 

The next morning, Simcha and Lev each were surprised to see that their bales of wheat were exactly the same size as before. “It’s a miracle!” each one thought, “Now I have even more to share with my brother tonight.” And so it went until the end of the harvest, night after night, the brothers crept out of bed and loaded up their wheelbarrows, just narrowly missing each other in the darkness.

Until one night, by coincidence, they met at the top of the hill. The two brothers looked at each other and understood immediately what had been happening. They embraced each other and the special bond of siblings who care for each other. 

Usually the story continues with something like, "Tradition says God was watching these brothers, saw their devotion to each other, their ability to feel and serve the needs of another. And God said that spot where the brothers embraced will be Jerusalem.” 

But there is no biblical, rabbinic, or ancient source for this story. Indeed, biblical, rabbinic, and ancient sources point to other reasons for placement of Jerusalem. (Here's the link to Daniel Stuhlman's blog post about seeking the Jewish origins for this story.)

Sometimes stories have power because they are true. Other times stories have power because they contain important truths. The truth of this story is not in whether Jerusalem was built on this spot or not. The truth of this story is that brothers and sisters and close friends who need each other, deserve a special brand of loyalty and generosity. We should both celebrate and work toward that type of sibling revelry.