The first mention of romantic love in the Torah occurs this week in Chayei Sarah. As the Torah narrative transitions from Sarah and Abraham to Rebecca and Issac, we are told that when Rebecca and Isaac encounter each other for the first time, their first reaction is one of humility and mutual respect.
Then after a rapid courtship that involves only a single deep encounter they marry. And only after they marry, in an order that seems inverted, are we told Isaac loves Rebecca. (Genesis 24:65-67). The ancient lesson seems to be that authentic love blossoms from a real encounter, an authentic relationship between partners. Not the other way around. Love at first sight is for fairy tales. But real love more often is the product of mutual respect, shared encounter, and authentic relationship.
In that spirit, a story about the power of loners uniting. Once upon a time there were two strangers living on opposite sides of the same village. Isaac was a peddler whose wagon traversed the west side of the village; Rebecca was the peddler on the east side. They knew of each other but never really met. One day each Rebecca decided to take her wagon to the neighboring village to expand her sales. She loaded up her wagon with fabrics and pots and tools of all sorts. That same day Isaac decided to to the same thing. He loaded up his wagon with fabrics and pots and tools of all sorts.
Loners, Unite!
The bumped into each other on the road that ran through the center of their village. That is their wagons literally bumped into each other! In all the commotion Rebecca's horse twisted a leg and a wheel shattered on Isaac's wagon. Each considered scuttling the sales trip but then Rebecca said, “Let's hitch your horse to my wagon, then we can both sell something in the next town instead of each of us going home having sold nothing."
Issac agreed it was better to sell half as much while sharing a wagon than to sell nothing at all so he said, "Sure," and moved his horse and his merchandise to Rebecca's wagon. Then they set out on the road together.
As the sun grew high in the sky they wound their way up the top of a mountain between their village and the neighboring one. But just as they started down the winding hill the one good horse and the one good wagon ground to a halt. In front of them was a huge pile of rocks. There was no way around it. It seemed as if they would have to go back.
Then Rebecca said, “don’t worry. I’ll get rid of those rocks myself and we’ll be on our way.” With that she hopped off the wagon and began pushing rocks off the side of the road and over the cliff. Finally all the rocks were out of the road except one. But it was huge. Way too big for the wagon go around.
Isaac said, “don’t worry. Get back on the wagon, I’ll take care of this myself.” With that he took a bolt of fabric from the back of the wagon, wound it around the boulder, and tugged. The boulder did not move. Rebecca asked, “Are you doing everything you can to move that boulder?”
“Of course!” Isaac replied. He ran back to the wagon, grabbed some old wood, and tried to leverage the wood against the rock. "I'll take care of this myself," he said again. Still the boulder did not move. Again Rebecca asked, “Are you doing everything you can to move that boulder?”
"Of course!" Isaac shouted, "I'll take care of this myself." "That's the problem," said Rebecca, "you haven't done the one thing that will move this boulder out of the road. You haven't asked me to help you."
Rebecca jumped off the wagon so that together Rebecca and Isaac could push against the boulder. When they pushed hard together that's when the boulder began to roll out of the way. The road was clear and on they went to the next village.
Sometimes, as with Rebecca and Isaac in both the Torah and in this story, our most nourishing relationships come not from love at first sight but from mutual respect, shared encounter, and authentic relationship. May we have the courage to pursue shared encounters and the wisdom to be in respectful and authentic relationships.
Loners, Unite!
The bumped into each other on the road that ran through the center of their village. That is their wagons literally bumped into each other! In all the commotion Rebecca's horse twisted a leg and a wheel shattered on Isaac's wagon. Each considered scuttling the sales trip but then Rebecca said, “Let's hitch your horse to my wagon, then we can both sell something in the next town instead of each of us going home having sold nothing."
Issac agreed it was better to sell half as much while sharing a wagon than to sell nothing at all so he said, "Sure," and moved his horse and his merchandise to Rebecca's wagon. Then they set out on the road together.
As the sun grew high in the sky they wound their way up the top of a mountain between their village and the neighboring one. But just as they started down the winding hill the one good horse and the one good wagon ground to a halt. In front of them was a huge pile of rocks. There was no way around it. It seemed as if they would have to go back.
Then Rebecca said, “don’t worry. I’ll get rid of those rocks myself and we’ll be on our way.” With that she hopped off the wagon and began pushing rocks off the side of the road and over the cliff. Finally all the rocks were out of the road except one. But it was huge. Way too big for the wagon go around.
Isaac said, “don’t worry. Get back on the wagon, I’ll take care of this myself.” With that he took a bolt of fabric from the back of the wagon, wound it around the boulder, and tugged. The boulder did not move. Rebecca asked, “Are you doing everything you can to move that boulder?”
“Of course!” Isaac replied. He ran back to the wagon, grabbed some old wood, and tried to leverage the wood against the rock. "I'll take care of this myself," he said again. Still the boulder did not move. Again Rebecca asked, “Are you doing everything you can to move that boulder?”
"Of course!" Isaac shouted, "I'll take care of this myself." "That's the problem," said Rebecca, "you haven't done the one thing that will move this boulder out of the road. You haven't asked me to help you."
Rebecca jumped off the wagon so that together Rebecca and Isaac could push against the boulder. When they pushed hard together that's when the boulder began to roll out of the way. The road was clear and on they went to the next village.
Sometimes, as with Rebecca and Isaac in both the Torah and in this story, our most nourishing relationships come not from love at first sight but from mutual respect, shared encounter, and authentic relationship. May we have the courage to pursue shared encounters and the wisdom to be in respectful and authentic relationships.
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The story is adapted from a version of "The Mountain and the Cliff" as told by David Holtz in Peninnah Schram's "Chosen Tales" (1997) pp.161-65
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