This post comes just after Yom Kippur in the midst of the Jewish season of profound introspection and reflection. This season demands courage to admit our mistakes. And strength to commit ourselves to a better way of doing things, in the new year.
But courage and strength mean nothing if we are unable to see the impact of our behavior on others or let ourselves be blinded by superficial appearances or if we simply refuse to look deeply at what motivates our conduct. All that requires clarity and authenticity.
In this weeks Torah portion, remarkable in part because it is composed almost entirely as a poem, suggests a formula for avoiding those errors in vision and authenticity. When speaking about the failings of the ancient enemies of Israel, Torah speaks not of their physical weakness or ineptitude, but rather their failures of vision, of not being able to see, truly see what was in front of them.
One verse, in particular, suggests three distinct habits of mind that are necessary for authentic self-exploration: Wisdom, Scrutiny, and Insight. (Deuteronomy 32:29.) Three distinct Hebrew terms are used. Chochmah - wisdom, that is knowledge guided by understanding. Yiskeilu - scrutiny, that is giving due consideration. Yavinu - insight, that is the capacity to distinguish one thing from another.
At this time of year when we examine our behaviors, it is tempting to stop at the first judgment that comes to mind. When we do that we lose sight of our deeper and likely more authentic motivations. Why we do what we do is sometimes complex and not always clear on the surface. It can only be explored if, using the negative example of our ancient enemies in Torah, we look more carefully by applying wisdom, scrutiny, and insight to our self-reflection.
Spoiler Alert: To amplify this theme I will use the same story I used last week. If it is new to you - no worries. If you enjoyed it last week - glad to give you a chance to enjoy it again.
At this season in Jewish terms, we examine our own behaviors and those of others from the past year. When we do, it is tempting to stop at the first judgment or assessment that comes to mind. But our motivations are often more complex or not always clear on the surface. By overlooking or hiding our deeper motivations we prevent ourselves from discovering the essential impulses we need master so we can control our actions rather than having them control us.
A folktale collected by storyteller Munira Dhamani and adapted by me illustrates this. It is about a father walking with his little girl when he notices she is holding two apples -- one in each hand.
He turns to her and gently asks, “Sweet daughter, can your hungry father have one of those apples?"
The girl stops walking and looks up at her dad. Looking down at the apple in her right hand, she brings it up to her mouth and takes a bite out of it. Then she shifts to the left hand and quickly takes a bite out of the apple in that hand.
Her dad is startled but tries not to reveal his serious disappointment that his daughter can be so selfish.
Then the little girl lifts her left hand and the apple in it up to her father saying, “Here you go, Daddy. This one is the sweetest one!”
This season is meant to open our eyes, to encourage us to look deeper. To be willing to challenge our year-long habits or comforts or old ways of seeing others or ourselves. To discern that which lies below the surface.
The path to renewal and return requires that we have the wisdom to pause before jumping to conclusions about others (let alone ourselves). And the strength to be both discerning and gentle when judging ourselves (and others too).
May this new year be the sweetest!
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